A Day in the Life…

They grow too fast.  I can remember when my oldest was born…..He was so small and so sick.. I never thought for a day that he would be 6 foot and towering over me…. ever!   He graduates HS this year and it has hit is Mommy VERY hard.  There are many ‘firsts’ that are happening in our household, and I just want to capture the memories and never let them go.

Last weekend, he attended his SR Prom.  He and his date looked awesome.  I cried.  Graduation announcements were sent out on Monday of that following week.  On Tuesday, we visited the Air Force recruiter.  Yep, he wants to join the Air Force!  I have to say that I had dreaded this visit with the recruiter worse than life itself.  But, it was not that bad.  Matt still needs to be tested and there is a 4-6 month waiting period to enroll, so I have a few more months to wallow in my own sadness.  Kidding!

This past weekend he searched for a full-time job, oh dear.  At least that will keep him ‘busy’ until he is able to enlist.  I am not sure, but I believe that he is very excited, yet nervous about this whole situation.  Time will tell.  Until then, I will just enjoy him being here.  If given the choice, I would chose for both of them to stay home with me FOREVER!  But, I can’t be selfish like that… so, I must let them fly……

‘Tinkerbell’, as she is now affectionantly called, is doing well.  She is looking forward to a challanging summer.  This coming weekend she will swim an open water.  Yep, I get to put her in a van and won’t see her until Sunday…..WHOOOP!  If she can get over the feeling that every body part hurts….she will live to be a wonderful adult, eventually.

Easter in Charlottesville, VA is beautiful. I have met with old friends and had a blast with the family.  I thought I would take myself down to The Corner today to get some awesome pictures, but lawsy….the people and traffic were horrible.  So, either I will go tomorrow….when there are no kids in school or Spring pictures of the lawn will have to wait for another time.

Matt has been with Mom and Dad since Sunday of last week.  He was missed A LOT!  We plan to leave to go home to Raleigh Sunday afternoon.  That should be a fun trip.  Abby has to go to UNC to be tested for drug allergies on Monday.  My bet is that she will NOT have fun, but we will keep that to ourselves.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Easter.  This Easter will bring changes for a lot of us…..some good, some not so good…but none the less….there will be changes.

ps…. I heard from ‘that guy’ that disappeared.  I don’t have the whole story, so I will not share it here.  It has something to do with a coma, motorcycle, and broken cellphone.  Some things are BEST not answered.  I guess time will answer those questions, who is to say?  Again, time will tell.   But, right now….he is far, far away and has a life of his own.   Amen!

A time of new beginnings…… Yes!

I realized the other day, on a flight from Boston, that I am growing old, alone.  I have awesome friends that surround me, and I am very thankful for each of them.  But, I have to admit… this “growing old, alone” thing scares me.  I never envisioned that I would attend Matt’s graduation from High School, alone.  Don’t get me wrong, Mom and dad will be there to support me.  I had just always dreamed that I would be married to the children’s father, and we all would attend graduation as a family.  You know… just like my parents did with me.  This makes me sad….

I feel kind of hopeless, but know that my strength in God will see me through this.  I never dreamed that I would grow old alone, let alone… raise 2 wonderful children, alone.  Matt will graduate this spring.. and Abby will follow in 3 short years.  Then, Sheila, will be ALONE.  The reality of that hits me harder than a ton of bricks.  Don’t get me wrong.. this is NOT self-pity, but more of an awakening.  I believe that God tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sheila, you are strong….but there are times that it would not hurt you to be dependent on others, such as ME!”

Having said this, God has always been part of my life.  LOL, my Dad is a Baptist Deacon.  I often keep God close, but find myself ignoring him.  Not so much a good choice.  I have asked forgiveness for many things, and have received that Grace from certain people.  You know who you are, and thank you.  So, I move forward with my life.  Hoping and praying that a ’special’ someone is out there for Sheila.

This past weekend I watched, Fireproof.  If you have not watched this, I recommend it very highly.  It is a God and faith based movie, but carries a wonderful message.  I have also been listening to Ed Young, and have learned some very valuable things.  I have learned that God has to be in the ‘Drivers’ seat of the person that I am dating or committing to in a relationship.  This is what I do, and I should expect no less of the person that I am committed to for a brief period or an eternity.

Ok… I will remove myself from my box.  I have made MANY mistakes… .and am sure there will be many to follow….  Afterall, it is ME we are talking about.

About a month ago on a daily basis for a year, I would always receive a ‘Good Morning’, via im.√Ǭ† 3 weeks ago, these stopped.√Ǭ† I miss them and the friend that sent them to me.√Ǭ† I feel kind of lost.√Ǭ† But, time and things progress and it is what it is.

Not a lot going on this week.√Ǭ† I am at home, happily, for the next 2 weeks.√Ǭ† I really am not going to know what to do with myself…probably, sit and wonder what is going to happen next?√Ǭ† Lol.√Ǭ† In my business, that is always a dangerous thought or statement.

I honestly think that Spring is finally blessing us with her presence.  That is so wonderful, with the exception of the pollen.  YUCK. 

Long Course season for swim is well underway.  Baby girl is not looking forward to it, but I believe that good things are in her future.  Keep her in your thoughts.

The Prince is getting ready to graduate.√Ǭ† There are not enough words to explain how much I am dreading this.√Ǭ† This will mark a ‘point’ in all of our lives, and changes will soon follow….no doubt.√Ǭ† Please keep him in your thoughts… we all need them!

Enough for now….

Had an awesome weekend in the pool!√Ǭ† I can’t even begin to explain the joy that we all had this past weekend.√Ǭ† Even her new coach was full of pride.√Ǭ† Keep up the good work, Abby!

“It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that? “

Happiness… I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am to be home.√Ǭ† No matter how far I go or how long I am gone, it is still my favorite place.√Ǭ† I know I am missed when I return home… even the puppies are glad to see me.√Ǭ† I am home until next Monday….then I will be in Boston all of next week.√Ǭ†

The Abster celebrated her 15th Birthday yesterday.√Ǭ† I was so excited that I made it home to celebrate with her.√Ǭ† We all went to dinner last night and it was a BLAST.√Ǭ† We had taken her, Saturday night, to “celebrate” at an Irish Pub.√Ǭ† She loved it.

Matt has a prom date with an adorable young lady.√Ǭ† He will graduate this year…. there will be many tears, trust me.√Ǭ† He is so smart and has grown way too fast… where have the days gone?√Ǭ† Makes me sad.

I have also connected with lots of long, lost friends….via Facebook.√Ǭ† It has been awesome.√Ǭ† I am sure that very soon we will all meet for drinks, and it will be just like old times.√Ǭ† Yay!√Ǭ† I have been lonely here in the NC.√Ǭ† We moved here in 2001 and I still have not met many people.√Ǭ† Of course, a lot of that is attributable to my travel and job.√Ǭ† But, now is the time I can turn that around.

So, as I say….tapping my heels together….”There’s no place like home….There’s no place like home…..”

 Amen

Long time, no post.√Ǭ† A lot has happened, but nothing really to talk about.√Ǭ† How do you talk about someone that you never met in person nor talked to on the phone?√Ǭ† You only chatted via Instant Messenger.√Ǭ† It all started a week ago…..

I was on my way to sunny San Diego, CA.√Ǭ† I was chatting with this person via IM.√Ǭ† I have not heard a thing from this person since last Sunday.√Ǭ† It is like they just disappeared from my life….NOT SO NICE!√Ǭ† Of course, I am OK with that….. I just would like to know what the hell happened?√Ǭ† How do you just disappear without telling someone?

This person helped me to turn my life in the right direction.  I guess now I can only thank myself for that and God.

You know who you are….the next time you decide to disappear in someones life, that actually cares about you, you might want to tell them why.√Ǭ† Everything that you worked with me to build in myself, now no longer exists.√Ǭ† I don’t have much faith in humans anymore.√Ǭ† I really hope that you got what you were ‘after’.√Ǭ† Come to find out…you are NO different than any of the others.

“Whoso loves

Believes the impossible.”

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh

Love is many things.. and if anyone has learned that the past 41 years, it would be me.√Ǭ† There are several different kinds of love….we all know these.√Ǭ† I have to say the best love comes from our puppy, Sophie.√Ǭ† She doesn’t care how we look, how we feel, etc… She just loves us for us. √Ǭ† Why can’t people relationships be like this?

I have come to believe that for me to love someone or√Ǭ† for someone to love me, must be the impossible√Ǭ† Do I make it impossible or do they make it impossible.√Ǭ† For years I was in a relationship and was not loved… honestly, I have almost forgotten what it feels like to be loved.

After I divorced….I dated many people.√Ǭ† I am glad I did this, I learned enough life lessons for 3 people.√Ǭ† Trust me on this.

I have learned that with every relationship, I need to find out who is in the drivers seat of the other persons life.√Ǭ† I also know that the person I want in the driver’s seat of the other persons life is God.√Ǭ† I have tried for years to run from God…. but he always catches me.√Ǭ† Luckily, he catches me at just the right time.

So, I still quest for that unconditional love…. I know that it is out there and know that it is NOT the impossible.√Ǭ† All we can do is HOPE.

 

I have been as busy as fleas on a dogs back this past week…√Ǭ† It never seems to stop…home, kids and work. Ehhhh!√Ǭ† I have been working day and night to complete 4 audit reports that should have been published 3 months ago… but when you are a one man paper hanging factory… you do what you can.

√Ǭ†The last of the reports will go out tomorrow morning…thank goodness.√Ǭ† After that I have at least 2 audits planned for the month of February.√Ǭ† That will keep me busy.√Ǭ† The swimmer in the family starts her her championship season next month, and that is always busy.√Ǭ† Luckily, her times are looking better…. so there is hope!

Not much going on with me, besides busy… same crap, different day.√Ǭ† If I could have someone cook dinner for the family every night… life would be grand….Just thinking out loud….

Oh… I have started doing Pilates at home.√Ǭ† I did them when we first move to the NC, and have decided that it is time to go at it again.√Ǭ† Plus, I have to get this body in ski shape by next year this time.√Ǭ†√Ǭ† Whooop!

Yes, I am one of those people that put off going to the dentist because I never have the money or the time.  KILL ME, now!

I have had a bicuspid on the upper left side that had a cavity… I lost the filling, went to the dentist to get it filled… and he told me then that I would have to eventually get a root canal, but that I could wait a couple of week. So…since the left side of my head has felt like it was going to implode for the past 2 weeks… I went to the dentist this morning.

My wonderful dentist started my root canal this morning.. said things looked really good when he started cleaning the nerve tissue out.√Ǭ† He dries the area.. and then tells me that he can finish it up and seal it today.√Ǭ† I say NO… “that bad boy is ‘hot’ and it needs to rest”.√Ǭ†√Ǭ† Plus, I had to get back to work and complete my performance appraisal…..whoopie!√Ǭ† My dentist laughed, and finally agreed with me.√Ǭ† I go back in 2 weeks to get the procedure completed..

As of right now… I feel as if i may vomit from pain.√Ǭ† My HOT tooth is KILLING me.√Ǭ† I have popped a hydrocodone and am sitting typing this… the top of my head is itching… and my words are all starting to run together….NICE.√Ǭ† Maybe I should think twice about releasing the 4 clinical reports today…..hmmmmm……